Great story, please update the next chapter quickly! Happy New Year!
Sarah (Chapter 1) - Thu 25 Aug 2016
| I'm just going to say it, I recently read your other story, pleasing one's mate, and your biggest problem with both are consistency and flow. In an earlier chapter you'll say this about someone but then after that it's forgotten and never mentioned or someone says they're going to go here/do this but then they are off somewhere else or something happened in the meantime but its never mentioned what it is, it's just fact. Examples from your other story is kid is 6 but just said her first word, no mention of where the son is they supposedly have, kagome leaves on a trip and comes back and suddenly everything is ok and within a few minutes the kid is at sango's even though its the middle of the night. You have potential but it seems rushed or you're writing as you go but forget what you wrote previously. Just please keep track of what is going on in the story and the characters so its not like you keep changing things or forgetting characters.
Nallely (Chapter 1) - Sun 21 Aug 2016
What the hell???
Nallely (Chapter 4) - Sun 21 Aug 2016
Oi, it's no other words for me to say this, hay una desconexión en la Kagome del futuro y el pasado... Kagime cedió sin explicación... muy raro...
Ree-san (Chapter 4) - Sun 21 Aug 2016
I'm really confused. It's like more than one story. The ending of the chapter is REALLY confusing. I thought she was supposed to be training, so why did she push her down the well? And is Kagome now trapped in her time? The "bedtime" story seems weird and out of place, with her mom acting very odd. Again, I'm very confused.
Okay, now I am officially confused by the continuity and flow of these 4 chapters especially chapters 3 into 4. In chapter 3 Sakura was telling Kagome they had to be at the ceremony for Sessho and they had 3 days to train for this event and in chapter 4 they are walking to the well instead of going to where they said they were going. Also Sakura was suppose to be training Kagome what to do when she got there so why are they suddenly at the well and she sends Kagome back to her time. This makes no sense. There are events and things missing here and it seems out of sync. There are holes in this story. If I am missing something, please let me know.
J (Chapter 1) - Sat 20 Aug 2016
I thought the same as the previous commentors I for one agree that kagome has no convincing reason as to why she would agree to be sesshomaru's mate and on a heart beat I expect more reasoning or conniving and yes the scent is a dead give away. It is a promising plot and story I do hope we can get a more rounded reasoning, or interesting way to convince Kagome rather than a too quick yes. im rooting for u
This story has piqued my interest, however, Sakura and Kagome may pass for twins, it seems like, but Sakura is oviously a demoness and Kagome is a human; so how is switching places going to work to fool Sesshomaru? He will oviously know the difference even if he has never met her just by smell alone I would surmise.
I believe I like where the story may be heading but there is a hole in this chapter's storyline. We need to know why Kagome is willing to help this hime just because she said her life is in danger and we already know that it is in Kagome's nature to want to help any and everybody anyway, but we need to know the why's, the how's and the who's of the dynamics of the people involved.
If you don't have a beta yet, you might want to consider getting one to help with editing such as proofreading for spelling and grammatical errors. Your beta can possibly help by giving you ideas also to push the story in the right direction that you may envision it in going. I love the concept of your story and as I said before it is something that I will be looking forward to read more of. It is a good beginning.
Nilee1 (Chapter 3) - Sat 20 Aug 2016
Why is Kagome so quick to agree to something that will change her whole life on both sides of the well without a full explanation of why she "must" do this. Sakura is asking for more than an identity swap at a party. I like the story very much, but there needs to be more explanation.
J (Chapter 1) - Fri 19 Aug 2016
hi im loving your fic the humor and all looks to be a promising new story with a fresh new plot im looking forward to it double thumbs up! goodluck!
snow (Chapter 2) - Fri 19 Aug 2016
LMAO this kills me this chapter was very entertaining xD
Nilee1 (Chapter 2) - Fri 19 Aug 2016
I can't wait to see where this is going. I really like your story. Kagome is a bit of a potty mouth, but I guess she picked that up from Inuyasha :-)
I think this story seems like it has an interesting plot line. I also think that you are probaly are a good writer but this story had quite a few typos, missing letters and words. It feels as if it was rushed to just get this chapter posted because originally posted there was no words or story there. I believe once you get going this will be an excellent story. You might can go back and revise this chapter and re-post it after the corrections are made. Good luck and I will be looking forward to future chapters.
where is first chapter
Julie (Chapter 1) - Thu 18 Aug 2016
I can't read it either. The chapter is not coming up, its blank.
Ashley (Chapter 1) - Thu 18 Aug 2016
The summary is very interesting! I wonder how Kagome gets misstaken for demon royalty even she's a miko?
Looking forward to read your story:-)
The chapter is empty there are no words
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