Very very nice doll. I wanted to let you know that there was a section that you repeated twice. It's too long for me to type it here so you poke at it! (hint: Harder Kagome, suck harder...") ^_^ Thank you for writing this...~Ts
Teensie-sama (Chapter 1) - Fri 06 Mar 2009
BMI, I love it!!!! OH I especially love the 'this is what heaven looks like, but when i touch her it feels like sin' ooooh that was beautiful!!!!! OH how you taunt and tease. I can't wait to read the next chapter!!! ~Ts
Nin (Chapter 2) - Thu 05 Mar 2009
Quite an interesting story, I would like to see more, but yeah you need a beta. It'a a little confusing at times.
I like the premise for this stroy... it is intriguing. Would like to see more.
Green Eyed Koga Lover aka lil sis (Chapter 1) - Fri 28 Nov 2008
| OMG you tolly have to make it into a storie
LIKE NO LIE that was awsome! keep it up my
big sis! love yas!
Akumi (Chapter 1) - Thu 02 Oct 2008
| Wow deary...*fans herself* Great job! Some parts seemed a little over done, but that's hard not to do with a lemon..EVERYTHING'S been done when it comes to a lemon. Overall, I really liked it! Great job, and you can only grow from here. Heehee. All my love!
Shay (Chapter 1) - Wed 23 Jul 2008
| i think it is good this is the first story i have read like that, shows you have a good imagination.I would have never thought of that, you did very good!!
(Chapter 1) - Wed 23 Jul 2008
| I'm going to offer some constructive criticism here. I read your AN and I understand that you aren't very good at spelling but just so you know it really detracts from your story. I could not get through half of it because of the errors present. If you can't get a beta please use MS Word, it should catch most of your spelling mistakes. You also switch tenses and use the wrong form/spelling of certain words. I only got to paragraph 7 and I couldn't go any further.
| Yes you do need a beta but you did so well with this story I would love to see you continue it.
Eriean (Chapter 1) - Wed 23 Jul 2008
| I LOVE IT!!!!!! u should totally make this into a story and u did better then most new-lemon writers do . so i am begging u to make it into a story. if u have any questions or need some type of inspriation email me at [email protected] u r the frist writer i ever gave my email to and wrote a review for. i do hope you continue this story.
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