I’m Not Kikyo
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha
This story is for Sugar0o. Inspired by her beautiful piece of art by the same title. I hope that you enjoy this r0o, this is for you.
A/N: I usually use a double space when there is a time lapse. However, this time I will use a page break because there will be a lot of gaps as Kagome goes back and forth. I think it would be confusing without them.
The Beginning of the End
“Aaaaahhhhhh!” Kagome’s voice rang across the battlefield when the point of Naraku’s tentacle pierced her left shoulder, just above her heart.
The miko’s body jerked forward when the appendage was pulled from her. She doubled over onto her knees, grasping for her chest as blood rushed from the wound. The warm red liquid oozed past her fingers and stained the ground beneath her.
“No....Kikyo.” Inyasha’s voice echoed in her mind as the world went cold and black.
o0o
Kagome woke with a start. Her hand clutched at the pain in her chest. Her vision was blurred in pain, and she thought that she was at the border between this world and the next. Slowly her vision cleared and her surroundings came into view. The thatched roof overhead, the drafty walls, and the straw mat covering the doorway. Kaede’s hut. She relaxed slightly, even though the pain was overwhelming. The mat pushed aside to reveal a silver haired, red clad half youkai with dog ears. He had called to her when she was hurt, but it was not her that he had called out for. The tears began to sting her eyes, and she turned her head to face the wall. He sat down next to her. Kagome heard the mat sway open again, making her turn her head to see who had entered the hut. Sango had come in, and gave her friend a gentle smile when their eyes met. Kagome smiled back, but her friend did not stay. Inuyasha looked at her gravely, but Kagome could only frown. She couldn’t bring herself to smile at him, as she had done, so many times in the past.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry this happened.” He began, his eyes fixed to the ground.
“It’s not your fault.” Kagome said as coldly as she could manage. “I will heal.”
She looked down at her body. Her clothes had been replaced by a miko’s uniform, which made her cringe. The last thing she needed was another reminder of someone she was not. Her wound was not fairing well, it had already begun to soak through the bandages.
“It is my fault. You nearly died Kik...Ah...Kagome.” He stuttered over the names.
Kagome closed her eyes to the pain that threatened to flow against her will. She rolled onto her side, turning her back on the man she loved. He started to reach for her.
“Leave me alone Inuyasha.” His hand jerked to a stop before his hand touched her.
Kagome heard the ruffling of his clothes as he stood and exited the small hut. The tears began to flow from behind her eyes, as much as she tried to make them stop, they would not. Soon the pain in her chest grew to new heights. Whether it was from the wound in her chest or her breaking heart, she didn’t know and did not care to find out. Her world grew cold and dark again, and then it was gone.
o0o
It was night. She was sure of that. There were no bits of light peaking through the walls, nothing but dark greeted her. She lay still listening to the night.
“Inuyasha, this is unfair to Lady Kagome.” Miroku’s voice came drifting into the hut.
Kagome quietly rolled to her opposite side so she was facing the huts entrance. She could make out the kindly monk and the hanyou outside the doorway. Both men held a posture of unease, with their hands folded inside their sleeves.
“I can’t help it, Miroku. You think I want to keep doing this.” The hanyou’s voice was annoyed. “She just looks so much like Kikyo that I can’t help it.”
“You need to let her go. The Lady Kikyo is dead, while Kagome is here with us, alive.”
“Shut up, Miroku. Kikyo is alive. It may not be her body but she is alive, and while she is alive I will protect her.” Inuyasha was yelling at the monk now, clearly unhappy with the choice that he was being asked to make.
“You can’t have them both, my friend. Remember that.” Miroku’s retreating footsteps faded away from the hut.
Kagome rolled back onto her side facing the wall. She didn’t want to see anyone, if they came in. Her whole life seemed to shatter in that moment. She knew that if she listened closely enough she would have heard her heart break. The pain gripped her again, and the darkness came swiftly this time.
o0o
When Kagome’s eye’s opened she could see little rays of orange and yellow peeking through the slats in the wall. It had to be early morning. Instantly, the conversation of the previous night came back to her. Her eyes stung with anger and pain. She sat up despite the pain that it caused her. Looking around she couldn’t find her top. It must have been removed to redress her wounds while she slept. Not caring of such things, she looked around again. A small wakizashi sat nearby. It must be one of Sango’s weapons, she thought as she lifted the light weapon in her hand. Kaeda slumbered in the corner of the hut, and did not make any sign of waking. Kagome carefully slipped out of the hut. Looking around for any sign of Inuyasha or her other friends; she quietly left the village alone. No one seemed to notice her leaving and she hurried her pace deeper into the woods.
Suddenly, tears flowed from her eyes as she moved faster and faster. As if the pain was driving her, pushing her. The wound in her chest had opened again and was seeping through the fresh bandages. Kagome took no notice of the blood that began to stain her porcelain skin. She only wanted to flee the pain, and the person that bore it upon her. The wakizashi was clutched tightly against her chest as she began to run up the hill, farther into the forest. Her legs started to burn as her energy was running out. Finally, she fell to her knees in a small clearing. She leaned over the small sword still held tightly to her chest as she sobbed in anguish over her heartbreak. The young miko wept for what seemed like hours alone in the forest. When her wailing had died down and she returned to her senses. She slowly uncurled herself, until she was just hunched over her legs. The red was bleeding through to her fingers, but she still took no notice of it. Her face grew cold and stern. With her left hand she gripped her hair at the base of her neck and the sword in her right. As if she moved slowly, moment by moment, she began to straighten her body. She placed the blade at the base of her hair. Her hand slid clear of the blades edge, and her right hand tightened on the hilt of the sword. Her face rose to meet the sky, and with one quick thrust it was done.
“I’m not Kikyo.” She screamed to the heavens.
Just at that moment the locks of black hair fell to the earth. A small pile of what was taken away. The raven lengths had been cut, the only remnants of what was, where the few longer tresses that framed her face. The whole length at the back was now sheered short. When she released the removed hair and it fell before her, she stared in shock at her action. She began to cry again. Tears fell on the cut locks and her hands hit the ground in front of her. Red began to drip on the ground and over the hair. Suddenly, she fell to the side. Unconscious again.
o0o
The youkai lord had smelled the blood a long distance off. He was curious why the miko was bleeding so much. He sniffed the air again, confirming that none of her companions were with her. This was truly odd. The miko was alone and bleeding. He began to move in her direction. He had not planned on staying away from Rin this long, but this warranted an investigation. As he drew near to her location he could now smell the tears in the air, her sadness was so thick it almost chocked him. Something was terribly wrong, he thought to himself. It is not normal for the miko to be without Inuyasha. Had the hanyou parishes? That could not be, he was a weakling by his standards, but he would not be killed easily. When he was within a few meters of the sobbing miko he heard her cries. He came in slowly, not wanting to reveal himself. When Sesshoumaru came close enough he saw the miko in a tiny clearing, tears streaming down her face. She held her hair in her left hand and a sword in her right. He watched with wondering awe at what the human was going to do. She raised the blade to the back of her neck. Was she going to kill herself? That could not be. This woman was too full of life and fire to kill herself in despair. The youkai lord nearly jumped when the woman yelled and cut off her hair. His eyes drew wide as he watched the beautiful locks float down to the ground in sad piles of forgotten beauty. The distraught miko bent over her lost hair and sobbed, the blood dripping from the severe wound in her chest, and finally she fell over.
Sesshoumaru watched her for a brief moment not wanting to approach. He would just as soon turn and leave, however, something compelled him to see to the miko. He cautiously approached her body. The blood was streaming out from between the bandages. If he did not act, she would bleed to death. As much as he disliked human’s he could not let this one die. He removed his kimono and threw it over the woman’s body. He carefully wrapped it around her, tightening it around her chest to help subdue the bleeding wound. The blood began to stain his silk kimono, but he gave it no thought. With careful ease he lifted her into his one good arm. He took to the air immediately and made for his camp.
o0o
Kagome’s eyes fluttered open. She laid next to a camp fire. It was now night time. The stars shone overhead, which meant that she was outside still. She couldn’t recall ever building a fire. There was no way she would have had the strength to do such a thing. Tilting her head sideways she saw two large brown eyes looking at her with great care and concern. The brown hair framed up her face, and a stubby little ponytail sat on the top. She smiled a toothy smile when the miko made eye contact with her. As soon as Kagome realized who she was looking at the young girl jumped up and ran out of sight.
“Sesshoumaru-sama, Kagome-sama is awake.” The girls voice yelled with glee.
That’s when Kagome realized what a bind she was in. Looking down at her shoulder, she gulped audibly, seeing the familiar white kimono with red detail that was wrapped around her. Kagome struggled to sit up but couldn’t manage it just yet. As she leaned back down that’s when she saw him. The Western Lord walked into the fire light. He looked down at the wounded miko. Golden eyes scrutinizing every inch of her. The brown haired child stood beside him, that same bright smile still wide across her face. Sesshoumaru moved around the fire and next to the frightened miko.
“Do not fear me woman.” He said as he reached for her.
Kagome flinched as his hand drew near. His hand hesitated a moment, then reached for the edge of the kimono that wrapped her entire torso. She tried to wiggle away from him, but it was no good. She didn’t have the strength. He clutched the edge of the kimono and began to unwrap her.
“Please don’t.” Kagome whispered.
“I must check on your wound.” He stated simply, while he continued to unwrap her.
Kagome stopped struggling against him, and he worked quickly. She was surprised at how many times the fabric was wrapped around her smaller frame. The layers of blood stained fabric came off, bit by bit. When he was down to the last layer, she realized that her previous bandages where gone and she was naked beneath the fabric. She gasped and was going to cover herself, but she was not fast enough. The youkai lord was faster and had his hand pressed gently against her chest. He leaned in and looked closely at her wound. When he sniffed at the wound he closed his eyes like he was thinking about something, or even listening. He ran a slender finger over the wound. Kagome was about to scream in pain, but it didn’t hurt. Surprised at the lack of pain she looked down and found no blood. Shocked at this she lifted her hand carefully and pressed her own finger to the wound.
“You were bleeding profusely.” He sat straight, and looked her in the eye. “I used my acid to cauterize the wound. You would have bled to death otherwise.”
“Thank you.” She said as she looked in awe at her closed flesh; a small scar of bright red flesh the only remnants.
“You must remain still. The wound is closed but it is not fully healed.” He stated before standing.
He looked down at the miko, and she stared at him with a confusing look on her face. Was it respect? Was it thanks? What ever it was, it was no concern of his. He nodded to the miko and turned to walk away. Rin trotted over and sat before her.
“Are you hungry, Kagome-sama?” She asked cheerfully.
“Yes, thank you Rin-chan.” Her voice a whisper, and a soft smile gracing her lips.
“Would you like me to cover you again?” Rin asked, causing Kagome to look down and realize that she was still fully exposed to the little girl.
With a blush Kagome nodded. Rin wrapped up the kimono, and helped her guest to a seated position. Kagome sat against the saddle of the large two headed dragon as Rin fussed over the fire. The miko couldn’t help but grin at the tiny girl fussing over her like she was a stray dog. Kagome giggled out loud at her amusing thought. Rin turned to look at her, curious as to what the woman found so funny. Rin took good care of Kagome, and told her wonderful stories of her adventures with Lord Sesshoumaru. On the far side of fire, the youkai lord sat against a tree just beyond the fires light, leaving his face only just lit. However, it was enough to see his penetrating eyes watching her the whole time. It was a little unnerving, but it didn’t scare her. Before long Kagome was tired again and laid down to sleep some more.
o0o
The next morning Kagome woke with a fire burning warmly, and a canteen of water nearby. She gingerly sat herself up. Reaching into the stained kimono she touched her tender new scar. A hiss passed her lips and she gritted her teeth when she pressed against it too hard.
“Do not open your wound woman, unless it is your intension to die.” Sesshoumaru’s voice came from across the camp.
“Sorry, I guess I just had to make sure it was real.” She said lowering her eyes, and reaching to touch her hair.
When her finger met with the short stubs that remained she gasped with a jerk, suddenly remembering her actions from the day before. Sesshoumaru looked on as her eyes grew sad. He could see that some part of her regretted cutting her hair, but when her eyes grew stern he knew that she had a purpose for it. He had heard her cries when he approached her. Inuyasha had mistaken her for the dead miko again. Although, he did not travel with his brother and his companions, he was well aware of the misgivings of his half brother.
“Why did you help me Lord Sesshoumaru?” She suddenly asked.
“You were in pain.” He said plainly, but he didn’t even really understand his response himself. It was just what he felt at that moment.
“That doesn’t explain much, but I will except it. I know that you are a man of few words.” Kagome nodded in respect to her savior, and he inclined his head in the same show of respect. “I’m sorry about your kimono.”
“It’s of little concern.” He said turning away from her.
Sesshoumaru stiffened and looked past the camp to the opposite side of them both. Suddenly, bursting through the trees came Inuyasha, followed by the rest of Kagome’s friends. Without thought of his actions Sesshoumaru drew his Tokijin. Inuyasha drew his Tessaiga as he came skidding to a holt, growling at his brother.
“What are you doing with Kagome, you bastard?” Inuyasha growled.
“She was dying.” Sesshoumaru bit back calmly.
“What did you do to her?” Inuyasha yelled.
“Perhaps you should ask what you did little brother.” Sesshoumaru almost sounded scathing in his response.
“Inuyasha.” Kagome’s voice interrupted the brothers exchange. “Leave here. Right now.”
Inuyasha’s mouth fell open and his blade hit the ground. He blinked wildly at the miko that sat in blood stained clothes and cut hair behind the youkai lord. He couldn’t believe it. What had she done? What had he done?
“What did he do to your hair?” Inuyasha asked in shock, drawing everyones attention to the miko’s missing lengths.
“I cut my hair off myself.” She said firmly. “Do you see.” She pushed her hand backwards through the short black hair at the back of her head. “I am Kagome.” She pushed up onto her feet. “I’m not Kikyo.”
“But...” He started in shocked sputtering.
“No, Inuyasha. I’m done. I am not the woman you want me to be. I can’t be. I am Kagome and I am not going with you.” Her voice growing angry as she spoke.
“So, what. Your going to go with this bastard.” His free hand flying in a rude gesture toward his brother.
“She does not want to go with you. Once the miko is healed she may do as she pleases, for now I suggest you leave.” Sesshoumaru intervened, stepping between his brother and the injured woman again.
A look of hate crossed Inuyasha’s face when he looked at his half brother. The inu-hanyou sheathed his sword and turned to leave. Sango and Miroku stood rooted to the spot looking at their friend with concern. Shippou sat in Miroku’s arms trembling with fear and sadness. Kagome looked at the kitsune and stretched out her arms to him. Immediately he leapt from the monks arms and flew past the inu-youkai. He stopped just in front of Kagome. She sat back down on the ground before the trembling kit. His eyes welled with unshed tears. She brushed them away and gave him a reassuring smile.
“Be strong Shippou. I will return for you. I promise.” She leaned down and kissed the boy on his head.
“Kay.” He chocked out. With a sad smile and a gentle hug he returned to the pair that remained behind.
Sango and Miroku looked at their friend for an instant before turning away and leaving the camp. Kagome watched sadly as her long time friends left her behind. A small sting of pain pricked the back of her eyes and pierced her heart. A hug around her right arm drew her attention back. Rin sat clinging to her arm looking up at the miko expectantly. Kagome knew what the girl was silently asking. She smiled and tussled the girls hair. Rin smiled and giggled, giving the miko’s arm one final squeeze.