o0o

Favourite Funny Lines in FF

While I was reading some fanfictions there were some parts that were so good that I just had to save them in a word document so I could read them later. If only I had writtten down where I had found them it would be so much better. Read them over and if you reconize where any of them are from leave a message so I can label it.

***

-“Priestess,” a velvety, not wholly welcome monotone stopped her in her tracks.
She turned slowly to face the source of the voice: a taiyoukai of formidable power, an uneasy ally, and Inuyasha’s half-brother. Impassive golden eyes stared down at her from an angular, aristocratic face. Silver bangs parted neatly to display a blue crescent on his forehead, long white mane falling to brush the backs his knees, armor polished and intimidating, he was cute in an untouchable, perfect hair kind of way.

-But I knew that getting angry wasn’t going to help the situation at all, no I had to resort to something much more powerful.
“Please?” Ah the all powerful please, add to that big bright puppy-dog eyes, a few glistening unshed tears, and a poutty lip and you get…
“Geeze, if you’re gonna make such a big deal about it.”
Success.

- Why must he always do that? I mean would it be so difficult for him to act like a normal person and not scare the crap out of me every time he speaks? Never mind, forget I even said anything. This is Sesshomaru after all, and he probably enjoys watching me jump at the sound of his voice and squirm under his scrutiny.

- I heard what he said, but I pretended I hadn’t. That was something I was not ready to give answers about. Being human is nice sometimes, you can make those with superhuman abilities think you aren’t as adept at doing things as you are, and they just take it in stride. Suckers.

-She dares narrow her eyes at me? How intimidating does she think she looks with her hands balled up into little fists, she looks no fiercer than Rin does when she is picking flowers.

-Turning back to Inuyasha, she glared at the top of his silver head, wracking her brain for a suitably scathing, witty parting remark. None were forthcoming, so she settled for a final, “Osuwari,” and stalked off.

-Her desire to know why he wasn’t concealing his demon features was far outdistanced by the realization that she had to put a stop to his assumption that they had a future together before her mother planned their wedding

-"Hey! I knew what I was doing! .... kinda." Sesshoumaru's eyes narrowed dangerously.

-Sesshoumaru's eyes widened noticeably, and his whole being stilled. Kagome thought he looked stunned.

-Kagome shivered slightly as she felt the youkai’s attention turn to her. It wasn’t fair that he could do that to her in one look. What was with powerful youkai and their intensive, beautiful eyes? Seriously, they already had amazing hair that defied the laws of feudal hair care. It was cruelly unfair that they should also have the ability to freeze a person with one glance.

-This whole exchange was lost on the humans present. None of them spoke possessive demon fluidly enough to have caught it.

-Wearily, Kagome used what was left of her failing strength to lift her head so that she could see the one that had come to her aid at the last minute…the VERY last minute…more like second actually.

-Sesshomaru scoffed slightly at the woman’s idea of ‘not complaining’. From his perspective, she had done nothing but complain since they had started out. If it wasn’t her grunting and groaning over having to carry her large, ugly pack; then it was her continual grumbling about her injury or muttered cursing at the completely obvious roots or shrubs which had somehow ‘jumped’ out at her without even moving.

-He would have bet his left arm. Oh, wait; he didn’t have a left arm. Pity.

-She released a venomous oath under her breath that promised pain to one very noticeably absent dog demon

-rather unpleasant cuts on her legs…which even now were still dripping blood to leave a clear path for the demon to follow…but there was nothing to be done about that now. She had to keep running.

-Meanwhile, Inuyasha, being absolutely baffled by the way Kagome was talking to his bastard of a brother, and not to mention the fact that it almost seemed as though the walking iceburg was contemplating listening to her

-Sesshomaru lifted an eyebrow at the girl. The energy around him was becoming nearly annoying. Surely, it was not enough to cause any real harm to him; but still, it wasn’t very good for his skin.

-He let out a small breath of air that strangely resembled a sigh. For him, this was an intense show of emotion.

-He raised both eyebrows when I came to stand in front of him, and that only annoyed me further. I was ready to sit him out of sheer irritation and I would have, if only he had had a subduing rosary around his neck!

-Inu Yasha is practicing death glares with some trees. Poor, innocent trees.

-How come he is most devastating when he’s monosyllabic?

-Oh great gods, all eight thousand of you.

-"Sesshoumaru?" That pleading tone again. Perhaps it was a trait acquired by all women, though he couldn’t remember his own mother ever using it. Of course, his mother was particularly strange for a female and far above begging. Maybe it was a trait restricted to human females…

-Maybe if he cut out her tongue? But then she’d probably moan quite a bit.
And why did that thought make his ears tingle?

-If he didn’t know better… no, best not to think of it. Thinking of it would only acknowledge it and acknowledging insignificant things only made them feel important. He’d already learned that lesson from his dealings with his half-brother.

-So, it seemed that in order to make the girl stop whatever it is she is doing, you had to scare her half to death. Hmmm…I certainly could get use to that.

-I continued to stare at her while a million and one ‘why’ questions were going through my head before I had finally decided that this was a waist of my time.

-"What was that crash?" she asked, flustered. Inuyasha turned to look at her. "Sesshomaru over there tried to kick Jaken at me" Kagome blinked and looked at Sesshomaru, looking for confirmation.

-"Cos' they'll eat Jaken first."

-“What?” Kagome bit her lips. ‘HE CAN READ MY MIND!’
“Please, don’t scream in your mind… it’s giving me a headache.”
“What? Stop reading my mind!” Kagome pouted.

-“Please?” Kagome battered her eyelids.
“That’s disgusting.”
“Oh okay, I’m disgusting, now help me out! You idiot!”

-Sesshomaru turned around and smirked. Kagome was astonished at what had just happened. 'He kills a demon and smirks? You must be joking...how sick and sadistic could you be?'

-Frustrated, she stabbed the needle into his skin. Sesshomaru gave an undemon like yelp and glared at the woman who had stabbed him with the small, sharp implement.

-It wasn’t that Sesshomaru was frowning but his glare was filled with enough ice to freeze hell.

-No, must’ve been his imagination. Yes, that was it. His imagination. He still wasn’t sure he possessed one though.

-while Inuyasha was busy saving Kikyo….of course. ‘Why is she always there, when we’re trying to fight anyway?’

-No fights were ever pretty in the feudal era, especially when it involved fighting for a female.

-Amused you, did I, she wanted to snap back, then bash him over the head with her first aid kit. Though she was pretty sure that wasn’t what it was intended for.

-Sesshoumaru had decided that the quickest way to gain the girl’s favor was to do the exact opposite of his beloved half-brother. And the exact opposite was actually listening to her from time to time. Or, at least, pretending to. Not an easy task by any means, the way she prattled on sometimes, but he’d faced more difficult battles before.

-Sesshoumaru could feel the anger in her aura, and it honestly frightened him slightly. Once again, he wondered what his own defense to purification was.

?

oneshot: Never Seen Ink Like THis Before?             Oneshot: Split in two
www.dokuga.com/fanfiction/story/2900/1 http://www.dokuga.com/fanfiction/story/2930/1