Off with your head!

I want some nice new music, but I have no idea what's good to listen to..what should I do?

Take all the glass cups you own and buy all the ones in a store, then go to the top of your building/house and let em rip. Or let them fall in this case, best music in the world.

My shoe accidentally went out the window when I threw a fit. I'm on the sixth floor with no elevators and amtoo lazy to go down and get it back. How will I get it back?

Jump down from the window obviously! Oh yeah, skydiving might be a new sport for you!

I need to revise but can't find my notes. What should I do?

Just delete everything and take a nap....

Have to clean my room what should I do??

Throw everything out and repaint the walls.

My butt hurts, how to make it stop?

Firstly you need to find a tack hammer and find yourself a spot with a nice flat surface, like a kitchen bench. Carefully make a fist, leaving your thumb pointed out and place said thumb on the edge of your kitchen counter ( Make it your left thumb if you are right handed and vice versa if you are not).

Now making sure your thumb is nicely braced against the benchtop, take the hammer in the other hand, raise it nice and high over your head and bring it down swiftly. The idea is to give your digit a good, sharp whack!

Stop for moment and see if you can still feel whether your butt hurts or not. If you can't feel anything but the pulsating, throbbing agony of your aching thumb then it would seem your problem is solved.

If you are still aware of a twinge or two, butt-wise, then simply start again with lining up and then whacking of your thumb until the desired effect is achieved. So glad I was able to help you with this problem.



Now, I would like some apples and the store has run out. What should I do now?

Go find someone with an blooming apple tree in their backyard, make sure they have a "beware of dog" sign and you can see the vicious dog, then break in to steal some.

My laptop should be back from repair in the next couple of days, but I want it back now. How do I remain patient?

Steal a new one!

I hafta make dinner but I really feel like take-out instead. My family says otherwise. What should I do?

Go to the store to buy ingredients and return home. Lock yourself up in the kitchen and procede to make the dinner with your special ingredients. Make the table and serve the meal to your family. Play with your food and watch as your family drop dead by one reason of another. . . Then go and get takeout

Mum and dad are having a fight (by which I mean mum is chewing dad out for something he did/didn't do - not to clear on the specifics) and I'm laughing my arse off watching them. What to do?

Invite people over and make an event of it. You can overcharge for tickets, popcorn, and drinks.

My big sister never finishes anything she starts so it falls on me. I'm tired of doing her work. I've tried talking to her about it, but nothing has changed. What should I do?

put out a hit on her...... not really tho



I'm allergic to chocolate but I want some what should I do?

Get some and lock yourself in bathroom so no one can stop you. Make sure it's a large bar, too.

I want to watch the Nick's 90's lineup, but I don't have TeenNick (only regular cable ). What should I do?

Crash a satellite and get the show on regular cable.

My lunch is ready, but I'm not hungry. What to do?

Well I suggest that for starters you do 100 deep knee bends, then a half hour of hopping up and down on the spot, 500 tummy crunches followed by thoroughly scrubbing your entire bathroom with a toothbrush, move your sofa into 17 likely new positions using only your pinky finger to push it along. Then I would recommend holding a house-brick in each hand and raising and lowering your straight arms approx 200 times and then finish up with taking all the items out of your kitchen cupboards, dust and polish every item and rearrange by alphabetical order.

I should imagine that by the end of all this, you may have built up your appetite (or possibly have collapsed). When you regain consciousness, grab a fork and dig in!!



I would like to plant a flower garden but have no seeds. What to do?

Run around to your neighbors yards and pick some flowers from each of their gardens. ONce you have a sizable amount plant them in your front yard. When the neighbors come asking about your new garden feign ignorance.


I want it to be Friday, what should I do?

Slam a hammer on your head. The next thing you know, it'll be Friday! Oh and take no notice of the rather large bump on your head.

I have to climb up six floors with a sprained ankle, and my teachers won't let me use the lift. What should I do?

Get the afore-mentioned hammer and use it to bash the head of any and all teachers that come into sight, with much luck you'll bash just enough teachers for school to be canceled. You won't have to climb those stairs then.

My nEck is stiff, what should I do?

Wring it both ways to loosen it up.

The bank cancelled my computer order transaction and I don't have time to get another before I leave the country. What do I do?

Bomb the bank for cancelling the transaction and steal one while in another country.

My mother is upset with me because I was upset (not even with her, just in general) that she failed to give me important information so now she's not talking to me (and we're very close). What to do about it?

Sit next to her and scream whatever comes to your mind in her ear. If she moves off, follow her (everywhere) and continue screaming full force. Eventualy, she'll be forced to talk to you, lest she lose her hearing.

My brother is pissing me off, big time. How should I deal with him?

Let's just say you should practice saying "Brother? What brother? I have a brother?" as I shan't get too graphic on the forum...(we shall know he "disappeared")

I'm tired, but I can't sleep. Help me, oh wise ones.

Go to the pharmacy and get those extra strong pills that say !!1 ONLY!! and pop the whole bottle in your mouth. You'll be sleeping like a long in no time, possibly not waking up for a loooooooongg time.

I wanna write something but have no inspiration or motivation to do it. How will I fix that?

Procrastinate.

I accidentally broke the handles of my wardrobe and it can't be fixed till tomorrow evening. How do I get clothes to wear for work tomorrow morning?

Pry it open with a crowbar.

My dryer broke and I need to dry my clothes..what to do?

Go around stealing hair dryers, plug them in and point them at your clothes...that'll do the trick. Might cause a surge, but hey, your clothes would be dry.

My kitten is teething so she likes to try bite me. What should I do?